Posted on in Adventure, Dreams, Mental Health, travel, Waiting, Wanderlust

Walking on Super Glue

The year is 3028.

“Grandma!” My granddaughter comes running up to my holographic knitting table. (It may be far in the future, but knitting will forever be a relevant old lady activity.)

“Oh,” my frail voice calls to the child, “yes dear?”

“Do you remember when you used to write blogs!”

I freeze at the remembrance of my old hobby. The rush of memories of creativity pouring from the pad of my fingers all comes back to me. I stare longingly out of the window, overlooking the flying buildings and floating land masses we all live on – again, in the future.

“Why ‘blogging’ – I haven’t heard of that in so, so long.”

•••

Wow, that was a super roundabout way to mention that I have been gone for a while. In all honesty, I could go on and on about how I had ‘finals’ and was trying to get a ‘real job’, or bring up my ‘summer classes’, but we all know the truth. I got lazy. I’m human you can’t blame me. You think sitting down and hashing out an 800(ish) word blog post is easy? Well, it is a bit easy, but so is sleeping or watching YouTube.

Here is a picture of my dragon, Albus, who clearly also has a bit of wanderlust

So what have I been up to? Well I completed my first year of college (barely), I got my first real job (thanks mom) and I signed up for summer classes (hate you math). Other than that my summer days have been filled with resting, relaxing and staring blankly at a computer screen for hours on end. You may be wondering to yourself why I don’t go out and see the town! Well, there is a part of me that would love to do that. Sadly, there is an even bigger part of me that weights the equivalence of an elephant. The part that has lived in the same town my entire life and is too comfortable in the familiarity. That part is the part that makes me feel like I am constantly running in circles.

Like I am stuck.

I feel like it is a basic human thing to feel stuck or feel like a dog on a leash, or any other metaphor. Maybe it was the gratuitous amounts of freedom I felt in college and then the sudden lack of that in being back in the same town I have lived in forever. Maybe I am just missing the trill of travel. Regardless this is the type of wanderlust feeling that makes me want to pack up my lizard and hit the road once again. Destination? No idea. Budget? I have like $5. Housing? I can figure it out!

It is that sense of blind excitement that has me wanting to work and save up so I can go and someday, maybe, actually go and live that type of life. The longest wait, however, is this weight of just working on the goal without actually being there. There is a difference between working going on a road trip and planning it. The act is adventurous, exciting, you never know what is going to happen next and it excites you and terrifies you at the same time. Before you put the key in the ignition however, comes the planning. It is the saving up for months, years. It is the reading of articles and blog posts of people who are where you dream to be. While the research is important, sometimes it can kill you that you just can’t be there yet. It aches that you can’t just skip to the part where you wake up on the beach, in the city or in the countryside you so desperately long for.

While you wait and work for the plans to fall into place, it can be such a strange situation. You know you are moving toward the goal, but the progress is slow and hard at times. It feels like you are walking through quicksand, or against a tornado. It feels like you have super glue stuck to the soles of your shoes and you just can’t scrape it off. In your heart, however, you just have to know that you can get there. You can reach the goal you are so desperate for, it just takes time.

The time it takes can seem daunting, even dangerous. What if your plans change? What if an accident happens? What if you become unable to later? These “what ifs” will always haunt you, but that never means you need to rush into the plans right away. When you become faced with those “what ifs” you need to remember to stick to the plan you have in place and know that the outcome will be beyond worth it.

There may be a possibility I am writing this post for more of a way to shake my own shoulders and scream “Wait! Plan! Patience!” into my own face, but really whose to say.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post! If you feel like it make sure you share or like.

– Gracie Ella

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Posted on in Uncategorized

The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating Someone With Depression

Growing up with depression can be hard and confusing. You have to learn different coping mechanisms than your peers, you learn more about yourself and (depending on who you surround yourself with) you have to be aware of your relationships. Being depressed and actively working on building a healthy relationship can seem like an uphill battle, and being on the other side of the relationship can be hard to. When you date someone who has depression (or any other mental illness) you may be scared you are doing all the wrong things. Watching someone you care for struggle with the day to day mood swings, shutdowns, or SUPER HIGHS and the devastating lows can be difficult. While you don’t know how to help your partner, you still want to do something for them. Sadly, not every single person with depression fall into the same helping category. Does your S/O like to be hugged when they are crying? Do they need you to stay with them on a regular basis so they don’t feel alone? The best way to know how to help your loved ones is by asking and opening up a dialogue about how they feel. Making sure you listen to them when they tell you how they are feeling will also help them feel supported and like they aren’t so alone. If you are not sure how else to help, there is some easy “do this” and “do not do this” list to follow.

Do let them be sad. Do not force happiness on them, it will come in time. Give them time to process their emotions. If you try to force them to feel better and act/seem happier, they may build up a wall around their emotions and feelings which would put a restraint on your relationship.

Don’t assume that they are curable. Depression is not just a linear plane of crying, sleeping, and eating. Sometimes it is four weeks of good days followed by one tragic day. Recovery is a lifelong journey, while situational depression is what your S/O may be struggling with, that is not always the case. Understand that this is not an easy fix situation, and you cannot save them this time.

Do research Depression. There is no better way to show someone that you care for them like researching what they have. By taking that extra step and learning back how depression works will 1. help you understand your partner and 2. help your partner feel like you really get it.

Don’t speak for them. Around 85% of psychiatric patients have anxiety tacked onto their depression. If this is the case, it is very important to not speak for your partner. Unless they specifically tell you “Hey, my anxiety is acting up right now, can you [order for me], [talk to the cashier], [ask for ketchup],” let them do it their self. Sometimes the best way to be helpful is to shut up.

Don’t claim you “have been through the same thing” – when you haven’t. Do not equate being depressed to the time your dog ran away and you cried for three days. Depression is not something you can claim to really understand unless you have been depressed, do not confuse fleeting emotions with a constant state.

 

 

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An actual photo of my super dope and supportive boyfriend, Hayden.

 

Do check on them from time to time. This does not mean to make a big deal out of how they are feeling. This is just a little check-up from time to time, and it is just to make sure everything is alright. While they may be totally fine/not wish to discuss their emotions, it is still really nice to at least let them know that you are thinking about them.

Do let them be vulnerable. If your S/O wants to open up about their traumas (and you feel comfortable with it) then listen. Actively listen to what they are telling you, as opening up and talking about your issues and how you feel is apart of healing.

Don’t force them to be vulnerable. Forcing them to open up will only result in a toxic sense of privacy. Walls are easily built whenever you are forcefully trying to tear them down. Asking about someone’s day is not a bad thing, but forcing them to tell you their deepest secrets is.

Do treat them like a normal person. Because that is what they are. A normal person. Even if you believe my ‘do and don’t‘ list is full of hypocritical crap, this one ‘do’ is so important. Do not act like you are higher and mighter than they are just because they have a mental illness.

The bottom line is, show that you care about your partner and make sure that they don’t feel alone. Being depressed can be very isolating, and when you don’t have a strong support system you can feel even worse about the situation. I am so thankful to have a boyfriend (and friends) who are supportive and help as much as they are able to.

Posted on in Mental Health

Taking the Time

Wow! My first blog post, how exciting! I have always wanted to run a blog, a place where I can publish all my wanted opinions out into the void that is the internet. The truth is however, I have just never had the time to write and maintain a blog. I have had the ideas, the drive and at one point having a small following of people willing to view my work. Committing time to the blog has always been the issue.

So you may be thinking why I decided to add it to my list of daily activities and obligations and to that I have one simple reason.

I want to.

Wow. Crazy, I know. Doing something for myself? Doing something that I want to do that has no impact on literally anything around me? The anarchy! While my main purpose behind running a blog is rooted in the  “I’m doing this for me and no one else.” Mentality, it is also the accountability I currently need. After a few months of feeling out of control and like I am just floating in a giant pool in space, I sat myself down (with a therapist) and decided to find things that made me happy. While it was not a demand, I continued to think and research (I love a good research sesh) and wrote out a list. I typically write out a list whenever I get in these “I am spinning,” sensations, and I found that there are things that I love and want to do – for me.

My whole life I had always felt like I needed to work for, act a certain way and be a certain person for other people. Which is a terrible way to live your life. I have never gotten to feel in control of my life due to this mentality, and by figuring out what I wanted to do I have already begun to feel more in control.

My “Get It Together” (named and ordered randomly) list goes as followed:

  • Create a blog (Check)
  • Maintain a blog (Going to have to work on that)
  • Read more books (My current stack is four books high)
  • Move more (I live next to so many hiking trails, and I crave to explore them)
  • Get out more (Spending most of your days and nights with your dragon won’t help make too many friends)
  • Journal more (I am literally always writing)

My intent is for this blog to help me document these goals, and to keep myself on track. I also have so many opinions that I cannot keep bothering my friends with all of my rants.

If you enjoy my content, I encourage you to come back to it. If you dislike what I have to say then that’s okay, you are still probably super cool and smart.

Thank you for taking the time to read my small first post, and I hope that you come back to my page.

Have a good day!

Gracie Ella